Silent Konoha
by jessicamaruchan
Summary: a seeminly innocuous vacashun to konoha by da gang results in quite the sultry story, i tell u hwat special guest appearence by scooby doo
1. Chapter 1

Silent Konoha

chatper 1: meandering in medias res terra incognita (in the middle of unknown territory)

narto was goin on vacastion with his buddies in konoha 1 day

"woa," sed sasukemaru, "it is pretty fucking foggy here"

"oh, yeah, ur right" said Sarkura

"i hope we dont crash because of the fo- WOAAASHHH D:" sead narto who was driver

"well dis sucks" said ElevenEleven

"shut up nine-eleven lol" said sarkura

"please don't tease me like that its offensif" sed eleveneleven

"yeah she's rite," sasukemaru interjected, "my whole clan died in nine eleven damn Itach was such an extreemist muslam :("

"yeah ok anyweys" narto brot them bax to da situashon at hand

"we r kinda lost" he continued

"wow, yeah" said Konan

"awright, let's walk crew" said sasukemaru

"mebe we shold split up gang" said velma

"wrong one :C" say sasukemar

sasukmemaru used his mangekyous sharngan nd stabbbed vlema wit da sword of suansnao ssealin her aweay for fiveever

so they were walkin but nobody was in konoha which was real weard becuz thereis usualmente a ton of people in knonhar

they walked nd they walked nd they wlaked and they walked andthey walked but they culdknt find there way anehwere becaus teh fawg was so thick rofl

eventualmente they lost eachohter in da fog. sasukemanre nd narto were togethar, nd eleveneleven was stuck wit sarkurmear

"holy shit this is scary" said eleveneleven "but good thing i am master of weapons" nd she pulled out her SIG Saur .40 S&W.

"wow a guhn? u r such a dumbass nineeleven, don't u kno their elegal?" Sarkmara took the gun nd threw it down a well

"NOOOOOO" SHOUTED ELEVEN11 "my gun."

1111 jumped down da well to get her gun but it was reaaaaly dark down their

"omfg, wat a dumbass" ejaculated sarka

back to meanwhile saske narto were walkin

"o look, a store maybe some1 their mite help us" said narto

"u r right" said ssakuese

Ssasukemaru knocked on da door, nd they heared a shrill icescream lol (AN: lmfao get it?) from the door

"stand back comrade" said narto

"okay jeez mr stalin over here" -sasukemaru 2012

narto summoned his bff ebisu sensie

"u guise r fucking dumb" said ebis and he ran away

"that didn't work at all :(" said narto

"ok, fine no time to waist" said sasuke

"u kno wat? let's just leave." ssaid narto

"oh ok" said sasukemaru

tenten feeled around the sides of da well. it was realy slick nd it smelled aweful

"Holy fuck nugget, it's blood" screamched tenent

she stared and startd to thrash around lazily, knokin herself out in da porecss. sarkurasa laffed real hard at da scene

suddenlymente it was dark. i mean really dark. ash was falling from da sky like if god burned a log or something up there lmfao

sarkusa lost her COCKy attitude. "hey tentens? u ther? its... its kinda scary :(" she gulped

the whole world darkned round her

END CHAPTER 1 :O


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two: detailed relinquish of abhorrent happenings and tales

"man this fuckin sucks" squealed sasukemaru

"ur such an emo bitch" relpleyd narto

"jeez just listen to us we r fallin apart ffs" said zachskemaru

"wait shut up you dumb cunt" said narto, eyeing an open gate "we haf to go explor that"

"ok i yield." yielded sasukemaru

bak to srakurachan

"oh jeez oh jeez" sarkra whimpered "1011 wake up quick i need u i cant do anything"

1111 woeked up. "wow, u mean to say ur more useless den me? i alweys thot i was da useless 1"

"no, ur still pretty shitty" sarka replyed "but i do supose we have common ground"

"sarkura, I..." tenten was cut off

a mysterioso figure loomed in da shadow! :P

narto nd saske r going thru da gate

"o jeez this is creepy" they say in unison

they walked down the cordor. it was wicked dank, yo. da chain link fences were all sad and shit, and there was just nothing pretty at all.

"fuck, it's like a warzone here" said narto. he neeled on da ground next to a red mushy puddle

"LMFAO! Looks like somone had their period here, rofl" said narto

"it was probbably dat bitch tenten she was very bitch today" suggested skasaumaru

"that kind of turns me on" narto said

they continued toawrds tha source of da cryin

sarkura nd ten12 were in quite the pickel

"jesus cufcumbers pottato tenten" sarkra said " u haf got to throw da gun up to me"

"No" said tenten" they are... "

"they r wat?"

"they are elegal!"

"oh ok" said sarukra

tenten took the gun and stuck it in the wasteband of her thong. she used her super ninja power attack to jump out of da well and she took out her scroll of weapons

sarkuras scrotum tensed up

"nah just kkidding i have no idea lol" said tenten

the grabbed eachother and cuddled in fear for the montster was approching them

"ah fuck it" tenten took out the gun and shot the monster a gazillion times

"wow i'm out of ammo" said tenetne

"your such a dumbfuck nineeleven" said sarkra. "ok lets go check out wat tdat was"

they went over to da scary mass of flesh, having no idea what it was. they couldn't idtnentyf it because well after u shoot somethin a gzillon time, it is hard to figure tht out.

but it looked a lot like a griffen i guess

"tahnks! u saved me! :D" someone yelped out "nice to met u my name is katie, but u can call me das fuhrer"

narto nd sasukemaru contineud and da place was not gettin any nicer. blood and guts were littered everywhere eventualmente. saske nd narto were scared

narto "holy shit i think I'm going nuts bro". "me dos" said saskemarku

they walkd further until they came upon the source. it was a lady in a wheelchare with a bunch of babeis crawlin round her. she looked preggo.

"damnit i hate kids" said narto "i am going to active my poewers now"

"oh ok" said sasukemaru

the lady whistled "oh we don't mean any harm" but it was too late because narto had made shader clown no justsus and we lal know kids are terriefed of clowns. but that wasn't about to stop them, for they had their own secret bloodline technqieue END OF CHAPTER DOS


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter tree: dining alfresco? more like MURDER ALFRESCO part 1

narto had fighted bax the frst wave of babes wit his clowning no jujitsu but he wuold neever fiveget wat was to happen nxt. da babies ran into aechother (no homo) and formd a blob. it roase up, wit da weelchare ladey at da head of da montrstosty. it ws a giant robo baby like opitmus pryme

da whelechare monstor raysed up its hard hands nd strted shoting babiys at narto nd saskemar

"omg wow" said sasukmaru

"this is highly irregular" commented nartomaru as he spin kicked one of the babys away "sakesamur u shuold use ur mankegyou sharignan"

saskemar repled "sorry i cnat i alredy overusd it on vlema :("

oh no saskumear has overused his mangeknou shargan! join us next time 4 more

hitler sark nd tent were setting down threegether (becuz theirs thre of them geddit?).

kate was saying "oh wow we have 2 find a way out"

"oh ok" said sarka

they went bak da way they had entered

"wait a sec das fuhrer how can we turst u?" suspected tente "yea" agreed sarkasra

kate said "no its fine"

"oh ok" said skarmory

hitler nd da gang continued to baktrak. they eventualmente came upon da place were da car was supose 2 be. but it wasnt their! also da road turned into a hole like in da movie if u hafnt wached it i highly recomend

narto nd saskumearu were fightin da babyies left and right but their were so many i dont even kno how many their where. but it must haf bin at least 7... THOUSAND. narto nd saskmera were in a pinch nd they needed to cum up with somethin real quick

narto decided to call da koolyby. it wsas a big foxxy mama dragon insid him. he made friend with it soemtime and it liked him 2 call it by da name "mao ze dong"

"mao, i need to borow som of ur power" pleaded narto

mao ze dong repleid "fine" and gave him da power of da dragon bear fox mama. narto used his asexualmente reproduction yes justu and made 8 thosand of himelf wich is more dan how meny babes there were so they killed all da babies. saskemaru helped too he through som shurken at da babys and used fire balls 2.

narto gasped for air "i am tired" he said

they approached da weelchair lady

"ok lets see who was really behind this i think it may haf bin farmer smitty werbenjagermanjensen" said fredy

"wow get out of here" narto and sakse sad. they held fredy down nd slit his throat wit a knif

"okay anyways lets c whom it is" said narto

da lady coffed blod she was wheezin like weezing da pokmon

"u 2 will nevar defeat da forces of da hill we dont want u here i am only a guardien so good luck beatin teh 5 kernals of da konoha dark people" said da lady before she blaked out but b4 she died she used her last secrat jujistumaru nd da preggo belly she had burst open nd an alligator cam out nd tried to eat narto so sasukemar killed it with his cheedoree

"oh wow" they said and continued

sarkura lokked around "ohman were kinda fucked huh?"

hitler and tenetnt agreed.

"well what the shit do we do now" inquired hitler?

tenent reprimanded "watch ur mouth guys cmon"

"shut the fuck up nineeleven" said hitler

they were walkin wen day came upon pryamid head!

"ravioli ravioli! great barrier reef!" said spongebob

"oh boy 3 am" said partric as he ran off with spongboobs

kate, 1010, nda sarkaramaru were scare because they haf to fight wit pryamid hed now

"i am da guardian of da north gate u guise had better go way becus i will fight u if i haf to" warned head

tnenente whispered "we have to fcontinu cuz there is no oder way to go"


End file.
